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September 20, 2016

As you are.


I vow to love you, always, as you are.

As you are.

Two years ago today Ben said these words to me, in a room full of our family and friends and white flowers and two enormous sweets tables. He made this promise and he has kept it. He made this promise to someone who, to this day, to this moment, continues to fight the need to change, to be less of this and more of that. 

The Universe woke me up and sent me this man and his daughter. I fell in love with and married a man who said, "I want and love you as you are." 

As you are.

What a gift this is: this man, these words, this promise. He lives it every time I say I want to be something other than what I am. "You are perfect as you are."

As you are.

This is what I waited so long for. This is what I never found and was never going to find in the ones who came before him. People I could never breathe with. People who said I was too much, of everything. It took time to see that those people were not my people; they were not my tribe.

Making a life with Ben and Eva has felt like coming home. These are my people. Some days it is really really hard, when outside forces try to wear you down. Even with the hard and heavy every day feels holy. 

Two years down and forever to go.

Previous wedding/anniversary posts can be found here and here.


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