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July 1, 2012

in the now.

in jim's office on thursday he said something several times, most likely to make sure i was listening.  

be in the now. 

whatever you're doing, try to focus only on that and the person you're sitting next to. don't think about work or your writing or the gym or your body. just be. you deserve to be happy. let yourself be happy. 

he repeats the last one a lot. 

i tell him the truth, that i’m trying.

this weekend i tried extra hard. i saw family and friends for a little lady's birthday party. i took too many pictures, like always. it was a beautiful day, surrounded by love and giggling children, everyone delirious and exhausted from the heat. 

and then, in a wonderfully tiny mexican restaurant i sat across from a man who makes me laugh and smile until my face hurts. i didn't think about other things. i looked at his face, those eyes, and the food on our plates. everything was better. 

i no longer want to entertain the thought of how much i miss because it's hard for me to be in the now

 p.s. jim, i'm always listening.


  1. Nothing like love -- or something like it or something that could become it -- to bring you into the present moment. Love for someone else yes, obviously. But love for yourself? Yeah, that takes work. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for writing. Period.

  2. Thank you so much, Mame. The good things do take the most work, but they really are worth it.

  3. I would like to think that Jim secretly reads your blog with his mug of coffee at his breakfast nook and smiles because he's proud of you.

  4. He does read it from time to time. :)