day 18 of giving thanks. for ben, on his birthday.

on the eighteenth day of this thanks-filled month i am thankful for you, benjamin. so-very-glad-i-listened-to-molly-five-months-ago-thankful.

for your name. ben. it's warm and wholesome. just like its owner. 

for coming into my life and shaking everything up. and for helping me feel true peace at the same time.

for letting me be a part of all the parts of your life.  

for introducing me to your sweet and beautiful daughter. for showing me what it's like to love someone with every breath. for letting me be witness to what a strong and kind father you are. 

for making me laugh until i can't breathe. for giving me butterflies when we went to that lovely italian restaurant two weeks ago. it felt like our first date and i loved that. for making me shake when you kiss me. still. for always reaching for my hand, especially when i need it. for knowing when not to say anything and just hold me. for knowing the words when i don't. for knowing. for morning snuggles with eva. for reminding me to breathe. for eating the insides of my egg rolls. for your eddie vedder voice. for letting me pick the driving music. for setting parks and recreation to record as a series; i never even asked you to do that. for having a jogging stroller and letting me take eva for runs with it. i love that stroller. for being "doers" as my friends call us, and for all the memories we've made.

for being as hungry for life as i am. 

for always asking how you can help and for understanding how hard it sometimes is for me to let you. 

thank you for helping me feel protected and loved and adored. and appreciated. 

thank you for being my partner and my friend.

i feel like i've known you my whole life. and i'm incredibly thankful for that. i don't know how i got so lucky.

ben, i wish for you the happiest of birthdays. i love you.