a day.

yesterday in jim's office the first thing i said was, "today is not a good day." 

it was 1:00 in the afternoon.

"what's going on today?" he asked.

i told him. 

as i said the words my chest somehow felt lighter and heavier at the same time.

it was one of those days, a day you know is going to be bad as you're getting ready for it. you feel it. and those feelings are rarely wrong. but the thing about these days, if you pause and try to find something good, sometimes something can be salvaged. they offer something.

look for the something.

the day started badly. i didn't get news i wanted. what can i do with this? ask myself questions. this is always step one. 

so i did. i did what i do-think about things. a lot. my eyes felt heavy. everything felt heavy. 

days like yesterday are rare. that is its own blessing. i will leave yesterday there, in the past, away from today and certainly away from tomorrow. i will leave my disappointment and frustration and exhaustion. they don't get to come with me.

things will not always be this hard.

something better is out there.

it's going to rain all weekend. this makes me tremendously happy. a fresh start. i'm taking it.