on love. part two of a million.

a few days ago i was on the phone with ben, crying. things had been adding up and i felt all of them. 

that's called life.

i said everything that had been sitting on my chest. 

ben waited. he's good like that. 

and then he said something that made me cry even harder.

"i've got a lot of faith in you."

it was what i couldn't say/feel/believe on my own.  it was what i needed. a push, an embrace, a reminder. a reminder that things will not always feel this heavy. a reminder that i've been through harder things than this. and i made it through them. i did that. this man. this man who's never the first to let go. 

this man's faith reminds me that the faith i have in myself, though it wanes from day to day, is still there. it never left.