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April 28, 2013

how to be happy, a series.

i wake early. scoop up eva, along with minnie, baby, and bear, and bring her into bed. i make pancakes for the people i love. i pour myself a big cup of coffee and sit down and write. and read the blogs i love, the fluff ones i really love, the new york times, whatever i want to read/write/think when i take the time to sit down with myself.

i take the time.

i give myself a pedicure while eva naps and ben works on the garden in the backyard.  i watch this man from the back window and say thank you. interrupt him twice, the first with water and an offer of a sandwich. the second a bit later with another offer of a sandwich. it's the italian in me, wanting to feed everyone. but i know there are a thousand ways we can feed each other. and 999 don't involve food. i spend $12 to have my fingernails painted purple in between doctor appointments. i wear a $7.00 dress with a denim shirt and $10 earrings from nordstrom's because they're pretty and make me feel pretty. and that is the difference. i listen to this woman at work, her new album on a loop, and i sing to myself. 

i take a walk on lunch and buy myself ranunculus and a hydrangea. 

i visit with friends who've had babies. i stock up on that wonderful baby smell. and two days later i hold twins!

i get back to the gym, something that makes me feel so calm and happy and whole i could scream and cry and stay on that spin bike for half the day. i read real simple, an article that talks about ways to tackle junk drawers. i share this with ben and say, look at this photo. doesn't this just relax you? look at how organized this drawer is. and when he responds, but where does the junk go? and sticks out his tongue, say thank you again. i read anne lamott on long car rides. i dog-ear and underline and highlight and nod and say mm hmm, yes, yes, yes. i pack pb & js and string cheese and animal crackers and then just smile and say, okay because all of that had to stay in the car. 

i say thank you for this life. 

i watch little ones jump up and down, literally, because they get to ride roller coasters. and watching and being around people with no fear is contagious. and good for us. necessary. especially if they're only seven. i keep my eyes open on the big ones; the rides are always more fun this way. life is more fun when you can see where you're going. this doesn't always happen. but i'm learning, ever so very slowly, that life is also fun when you trust it. 

i take my time.

(photos 2 & 3 by ben)

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