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October 10, 2012

this is how you love yourself. you keep going.

you take yourself for walks: in the morning before the world wakes up, at lunch past the park by the school near work, at night on the days that qualify as one of those days. pay attention to the children playing and running without fear, without worry. give yourself five minutes, ten, thirty to do the same. you deserve to do the same. remember how much walking has saved your life. all good things in this world start with a first step. no music, no noise. just you and your breath. walk just to walk. walk to feel your heart grow stronger. walk to feel your mind grow quiet and be at peace. walking does this for you. on the days you feel like you're going to crawl out of your skin, walk. take these steps. take this time for yourself. walking heals. remember this. walking heals your soul. let it. this is how you love yourself. 

you remind yourself that similar to life, sometimes your soul needs to be organized and cleaned up, just a bit. days and bad moods start to pile up and things feel clogged. pay attention when things start to feel heavy, the first second you feel this. attack this feeling. attack these days and tell them, no. you don't get to stay here. i'm choosing happiness today. i'm choosing not to feel stuck, not today and not tomorrow. you remind yourself that your soul is your responsibility. give it room to breathe. this is how you love yourself. 

you be as emotional and honest as necessary. it took your entire life to get to a place where you feel and know how to. you do not need to tone it down or turn it off. this is how you love yourself.

you do not tone down any part of yourself. not one. this is how you love yourself. 

you remind yourself that anything worth anything takes time. change is a quiet room in a small corner of your heart. and sometimes that corner is much bigger. change comes when you're ready and open to it. be open. keep yourself open even on those days when the last thing you want is to keep trying and keep hoping for things. hoping is not a part-time job. tell the universe that you are ready, ready for more and ready for the work that the more you want requires. send this prayer into the universe. i am ready. i am ready. i am ready. take a breath and then take that first step. this is how you love yourself.

you give yourself permission to want things. you give yourself permission to have the life you yearn for. you deserve a big life. you don't have to justify wanting one. this is how you love yourself.

you know that sometimes it's enough to sit at your desk with a pb & j, string cheese, and big glass of water and work on that crossword puzzle from monday. on a wednesday. life happens. catch your breath. this is how you love yourself.

you spend an entire morning listening to bob marley and bon iver. you picture yourself on a beach and then a forest. you smile quietly to yourself as you sit at your desk and listen to these men, these thoughtful men with beautiful and wonderfully soft voices. you let the quiet of these songs fill you. you look for the beautiful quiet all around you. settle into it as often as you can. be thankful for beautiful quiet. it's everywhere. this is how you love yourself.

you give yourself small goals. you give yourself the space and time to complete them. be honest with yourself. be patient. be gentle. this is how you love yourself.  
you pass go. you continue to fight for what you want. if you do not fight for it you do not want it badly enough. you stop making excuses. you stop being afraid. you keep going. this is how you love yourself.

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