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February 20, 2013

on saying no.

i was recently asked to attend a depaul event to read an essay of mine that was published in the university's literary magazine last spring. 

i said no.

jim looked surprised when i told him.

i can't keep going back to that girl, not even to read about her for ten minutes in front of a room of people.

i don't want to read that essay again.

i don't want to do something, so i'm not going to do it. period. end quote.

wow, doesn't that feel good? why is it so hard to do this? why is it so hard to listen to ourselves?

when you put everyone else's voice at a louder volume than your own that is all you can hear. if you don't make your voice a priority nobody else will. this is your job, nobody else's.

being a part of the magazine was flattering and lovely. it felt nice to be asked to come back, but my gut reaction was to say no.  

that was my answer.

i'm letting that girl go.

this is part of my plan. and listening to myself. saying, thank you, but i can't is something that takes practice. but i've gotten good at it.

no is a complete sentence.

it's really hard to say it, especially when you want nothing more than to please the world. but it feels so damn good when you finally do.  

i am my own world. that is my priority.
 
please yourself and you'll please the world.

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