what's next.

i'm writing a book.

holy hell it feels good to finally say that.

a book that is separate from this blog.

a book that talks about my life right now, as big and exciting and frustrating as it is.  

a book that is a space for me to put the things i don't want to put on my blog right now, things i don't have the energy to explain. things i don't need to explain.

it deals with the lessons i've learned and continue to learn in my twenty-eighth year. and many of those lessons have involved crawling. a lot of dancing too, but really a lot of crawling. so much has felt like that and those are the pieces that need the most work.  

27 was a weird and hard year. 28 has been better, the first five months of my 28th year have inspired me to write, really write. 

i've been paying attention, universe.

there's a lot of gray in this life i'm trying to figure out. and i figure things out by writing about them. i put the words somewhere else and they begin to make sense. 

make sense

but that's really what i'm here to do, make sense of this life i've been given.

the funny part is i have no fear right now. maybe i'm just too tired to have fear.

no.

i'm not afraid to tell my story and open myself up to the world. i lost so much time by not doing this. i won't waste more. 

a few weeks ago jim told me, this is your life. you can write your own story.

it's time.