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January 16, 2012

outgoing guts.

and by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. the worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
-sylvia plath

"this is about you. your life and your happiness and you're taking care of yourself."

two things i needed to hear when i needed to hear them. thank you, universe.

one sign of a good weekend: your best friend sends you an email monday morning and starts it, "dear axl rose."

i did have a lovely weekend, one that consisted of mucho margaritas for a friend's birthday, some running, book club, a really good hair day, quite a bit of fun at one of my favorite neighborhood bars, and a conversation with someone who pays really close attention to the things that matter.

this coming weekend shall be much quieter. (yes, it's only monday, but the day is nearly over and tomorrow is tuesday and soon friday will be here. i'm trying extra hard to practice the power of positive thinking.)

all i can think about, besides the obscene amount of reading i need to do, are the super cute, super on-sale nike running shorts i got today and how i can't wait to go home and try them on.

i'm thankful for friends who remind you, as often as you need to hear it, to let things go.


sometimes you have these tiny moments that you churn into big moments, moments that pull you back a bit. but it's a weird and funny and powerful moment when you finally realize and accept that there's nothing to fret about, nothing you haven't figured out, nothing left that needs to be fixed. 

sometimes you believe things over and over in your head and your heart so many times that the first second of doing it again leaves you so tired things start to feel heavy again. and you remember how much it hurts and you've stopped doing that. you promised yourself, and of anyone in the entire world, you deserve to keep the promises you make to yourself.

i am the only one capable and responsible for my life, for making myself happy. and step one is worrying less about the non-important things and focusing more on the real ones. anything that makes you spin and feel frazzled does not deserve the energy it steals from you.

this is my prayer for monday, tuesday, wednesday, and every day that follows. when bad days come around, i will collect small moments of grace that remind me of what i want, why i work so hard, what i deserve.

outgoing guts. that is my happiness.

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